That One Time I Fell Off a Trailer

About a month after we purchased our land in New Mexico, my parents gifted us with a 40 ft. shipping container to use for storage. We’d been paying for a storage unit in Colorado and were feeling very disconnected and not fully able to run our business with most of our things still in Colorado. So we planned a last trip to Colorado to collect all our things from storage in August. We had just purchased a new heavy duty trailer, strong enough for us to haul water while we wait for our well to get dug, and were doing the last of the unpacking of some small items we left floating around in it. Then it started to rain.

I was in my cool clothes, tank top, cool pants, etc., even though it was technically monsoon season out here. And I was wearing my Vibrams (toe shoes). We had let down the back of the trailer and had been using it as a ramp to walk up and down before it started sprinkling.

I’m still a city girl, born and bred, and I’m still undergoing my unlearning and relearning of my Earthly powers. Although I’m a Scorpio through and through, a deep water sign, I tend to not want to get wet when I’m wearing clothes. I despise the way wet clothes feel on my body, I feel confined and sticky. Plus we’d been living out of a tent for a month and I was 100% out of my comfort zone so I started to notice that I would lean toward small comforts when I could get them. Air conditioning, running water… Being dry haha!

On the flip side of that same coin, I’ve got family members and (technically) acquaintances, we sometimes call friends, asking “How is Tina doing? Are y’all staying in a hotel?” and I’m not going to lie, I was a little offended at how fragile and rigid people thought I was. It fueled me. When the rain started coming down I thought to myself “Alright! Time to get this done so we can get in the car, LET’S GO!” I kept up my pace picking things off the floor of the trailer, one of the items was a rachet tie. When I turned around and felt my right foot slip out from under me I knew it was going to be bad so I guess I tried to brace myself. I felt myself hit the ramp of the trailer and I was in so much pain I couldn’t even cry.

All the voice, power, conviction had left me. It made me think of the time I fell running up the stairs when I first started dating my King. Back in my Cali days I just laid there and wished I could disappear so I didn’t have to see his reaction to my fall lol This time I had nothing to let out the pain was so deep. When I finally caught my breath I rolled over onto my stomach and started to cry softly, little by little louder and louder the more I paid attention for my pain. Eventually I found this gash in my arm from my weight falling straight onto the metal rachet I was carrying and it was bleeding like crazy. I thought to myself,

“Well… You wanted to see how powerful this All Healing Rub is! Here it goes! Get to healing!”

I picked my ass up off that trailer ramp, everything that touched my skin down to my clothes was shooting pain all throughout my body but I didn’t want my King to baby me. I encouraged him to finish while I went to clean the cut and tend to it. I came back, still in pain, crying, cut bandaged up, All Healing Rub in hand and ready to get on the road to our last trip to Colorado. That moment and what followed after was liberating! I had already created something that was perfect to stop bleeding, clean open cuts and address the pain that I made several years before being here in this moment, cut, bleeding and in pain! Over the next few weeks I applied the rub liberally and I shared my story with people we met who asked me. I had bruises all the way up my arm, as you can see, so I was happy to see that the more I talked about it the more I laughed about it.

Through my healing process I’ve learned to take ownership of where I could have done better and this was a HUGE learning experience for me. I knew better. I knew that rain meant slippery but I wasn’t thinking about that before I stepped on the ramp and ate it, bad. LOL! Honestly, that’s common sense! I had no one to blame but myself and trust me, I tried to blame the rain!

Balance. Balance taught me that even if something hurt I can smile and laugh about it too. Balance taught me that yes I was thinking about completing the task but not thinking about safety while completing it. Balance taught me to stop fighting the falls and ROLL WITH IT! I’m convinced that if I would have made an effort to roll I wouldn’t have split my arm open. Balance taught me that sometimes peoples fragile ass opinions of you can make you stronger and give you fuel to push harder. Balance taught me that I’ll have plenty more practice perfecting this lesson and whether I’m physically or spiritually falling, tuck and roll is the best bet!!

Balance taught me STRENGTH in weakness!!

Since this lesson has been one of the main energies I’ve been learning about for the last 32 years I’ve decided to offer an amazing new course focused on Mastering the Energy of Divine Balance! Check it out HERE!

 

-IxChel-

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Ass All Out

Have you ever gone somewhere new thinking you were well enough equipped to handle whatever might come along? I had somewhat of an idea what moving out of the city meant but I wasn’t completely ready for the huge shift we were taking on when we moved to New Mexico. There’s something different about using the restroom outside, squatting and feeling nothing but fresh air when you step out of the shower! It’s a different feeling to be so close to Mother Earth, feeling undisturbed dirt and sand between my toes and cold mountain air when I step outside is life-giving and challenging at the same time.

I’ve tripped over rocks, fell down the back of a trailer, moved hay bails (which for some reason I keep calling barrels lmao!), walked down the road in the middle of the night and heard coyotes sounding off all around me… And all I can say is, it’s been crazy! Since 2005 I’ve been putting myself into situations that I haven’t been exposed to and it’s been helping me to understand different types of people. I’ve experienced people who society would label as “bad” and experience relationships with them that have been life saving and changing in my journey. Gradually I’ve been leaning more toward experiencing life in a balanced way.

A few years ago I got a birth chart reading from my Reiki Master and I’ve been learning more and more about myself each year I continue to study it. Since I was young I’ve heard myself say things in my head that my filter has been like “That’s a pretty crazy and kind of dark thought for someone your age.” I’m also a heavy Scorpio all throughout my chart. A sign ruled by water, emotions and the power to destroy and create. I wasn’t ready to accept who I was for a long time but I’m there now and I’m unapologetic.

I’ve been there for and supported people who didn’t really love me most of my young adult life, I’m capable of giving until I’m spent and inflated. I’m also capable of hurting some feelings, I’ve got a sharp tongue and a tough spirit that won’t back down for the things I love and the people I care for. For the last few years I’ve been learning how to balance out that extreme love and anger. For a year or two I thought the answer was changing my mindset to always shift to positive when “bad” things happened. It helped but it didn’t honor who I was inside and I still hadn’t learned to balance.

Balance, balance, balance and balance is what my ancestors have been spiritually beating into me for the last decade… I JUST realized it lol. So that’s where I’m at… In a situation totally out of my comfort zone, setting the foundation for people I might not have even met yet and balancing my love and anger just enough to achieve the balance I need to be my best self for my high purpose journey on this Earth. I’m about to show yall what balance is hahaha!

 

-IxChel-

Pride In Your Path

Growing up in the suburbs of a little known small city in California, I was often told I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth. Sometimes from new boyfriends, sometimes from old friends and even my closest cousin. For most of my 20’s I used my energy trying to convince people I wasn’t a spoiled rich kid that lived in a 2 story house, because most times, that’s all I was to people. It made a part of me feel guilty for having the life I did and it also drove me to be the unconditionally giving person I am. For so long I spent time with people my parents never approved of because they fit into certain categories that life experiences taught them were not good people.

I remember being a child at the table and listening to some of the stories my dad would share and saying “You can’t just judge people as being good or bad by the way they look!” And although I had a point, that discernment that my dad lived by was taught to him as a means for protecting his life in his line of profession, but it didn’t sit well with me. So I made it my duty to give people the benefit of my trust and friendship even though they might not have looked worthy to other people.

When I started working just before I graduated high school it was against everything my parents wanted but I was so tired of people telling me I was spoiled and lucky that my parents gave me money. I wanted to go work for it even if that meant I had way more on my plate with going to school and then college full time. After I started my first job I never stopped grinding, and I seemingly never had money left from my checks either. This used to drive my parents nuts because I ended up working for LA County for 9 years, it was a decent paying and steady job… Much of what I used to think the “dream” was. Part of the reason I never had any money is because I would give to those I cared about, my friends and the guys I dated. I remember buying books for a boyfriend’s classes and driving him to work and school everyday. Same guy who ended up breaking my heart for the first time.

Talking to my King yesterday I remembered this heartbreak. I eventually came to the realization that surviving heartbreak is one of the things that can make us unbelievably strong. I wasn’t the type of person that got into physical fights on a regular basis so I didn’t have that experience but I know that I’ve felt my heart break so bad my chest felt like it was going to burst open and melt me from the inside out. Surviving betrayal of pure love is something that thickens the skin of our heart and soul for the path we have ahead of us. That’s something I wish I could have communicated to my younger self but I know it was something I had to learn by the fire.

Throughout my 20’s I went to school full time, worked full time and slept maybe 2-3 hours a night after hanging out with people I thought were friends. After shifting into my 30’s I was able to look back and reflect on all the things people tried to shame me about: having 2 parents, my parents having good paying jobs, being sent to private school, getting an allowance. For so long I had allowed people to shame me into feeling guilty for choosing my parents and having the life I did. It took me 30 years to be like “fuck that” I had hardworking parents who taught me how to love and support the people I cared about, parents who taught me things I also had to unlearn to elevate and parents who loved me enough to want to give me a better life than they had growing up. No one can ever shame me for that again.

In learning to block the energy of people who tried to make me feel bad about my life I also learned to wick off people who tried to spread lies and hate about who I am and who we are as a unit. We ignorantly thought that leaving California would remove us from being around people who hated on us and made up lies in their minds about who we are… It didn’t. We found people like that in Colorado and now in New Mexico. The main thing we’ve learned is that every energy, high & low, dark & light, serves a purpose in our journey and deserves thanks and honor for the lessons and light they bring to us. Every energy is built into this life to prepare us for our journey ahead. Don’t allow anyone to shame you for your individual journey!

Learn your lessons, make your adjustments and take Pride In Your Path!

-IxChel-

Friends & Lessons

I really feel like the term “friend” is used entirely too loosely. Throughout my journey I’ve gone through so many different phases of “friends”. There was a phase when I wanted anyone to be my friend, I wanted more popular friends, I wanted friends that partied. Then I wanted friends that had connections & knew certain people in the beauty industry. Looking back at the person I’ve been growing to be and who I truly consider friends now, I can see how far I’ve come on my journey.

I was extremely insecure as a child & through my adolescent years. I had people I hung out with in grade school but they didn’t fit into societies definition of what beautiful & intriguing were. So the first sign of someone from the “popular group” talking to me I instantly ditched the people who had spent time with me & loved me for who I was. Fast forward 23 years and I only speak to ONE person from that “popular group”. No one that I tried to build a relationship with from that “popular group” made an effort to be in my life or see me all through high school. Even now, I see pictures of them all hanging out and watching eachother’s children grow up, no one makes an attempt to reach out to me or talk to me.

Over the last 5 years I’ve had my own spiritual awakening & shot out of the ground I buried myself in for the last 20+ years. I stopped pouring my energy into people that didn’t make any effort to hold a connection with me. I’ve come to learn that friendships are just like plants. They need to be cared for in the same way a plant does! Stop watering a plant and it dies. Stop giving it sun and it dies. Friendship is a 2 way street just like any other relationship! I’ve learned to stop watering plants alone.

My definition of the friendships I now want in my life are so deep that a limited number of people meet the criteria. I know this can start to sound like I’m full of ego but what I know about myself is that I love deeply, that’s part of the Scorpio in me. I can love so deeply that I’ll carry the burdens of those I love, look for a solution and support most people through almost anything with everything I have access to. I’ve come to learn that when you can love with a capacity like that, you HAVE to be selective with the energy you give to people. Giving that much energy and love to people who have no problem taking and taking will drain me and my love too quickly.

Moral of the story, pay attention to the definition of friendship you live your life by & adjust accordingly.

-IxChel-

 

Want a Rise Out of ME? HA!

Have you ever met someone who didn’t get what they want, exactly how they wanted it? We’ve all experienced that right? We don’t all get what we want exactly the way we want it. But have you met those people who go out of their way, slice out big chunks of their day and waste a ton of energy trying to attack you? In this world of technology almost anyone can find us online but that also means the person trying to take jabs at you after you’ve severed the tie is pretty lonely, sad & desperate for attention. They’re sitting at home or at work fuming and angry over not getting their way, much like a child. But then to take that anger and frustration and act on it by sending emails, texts and anonymous messages seems pretty crazy! That’s what happens when we are out of balance!

You may be asking, what does balance have to do with someone wanting to get a rise out of you? Let’s be clear that I’m talking about an adult but what I described earlier sounds more like the rantings and actions of a child. In the effort to be completely transparent, the inner child in me that’s angry about someone being so mean and hateful wants to use every angle I can to ruin their life. That’s also a little of the Scorpio in me. But this isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with someone trying to get a rise out of me when they don’t truly know what I’m capable of.

Balance has everything to do with this. For example, my husband, Asad, is a fire sign and I’m water. So when he see’s me getting worked up over people like I mentioned before, he calms by waters by showing me his flame. He always lets me know he’s going to support me no matter what but then always offers a gentle Leo reminder about karma and energy. It’s like “Yes love I’ll back you 100% just remember that…” and it always cools my emotions because I know that he’ll go harder than I can imagine. For me, it’s hard not to be emotional over people I’ve genuinely tried to help and connect with when they show their true selves. Mostly because I don’t always show or express the emotional and internal dilemmas I go through when I’m trying to connect with people. I deeply care. Sometimes to the point where I’ll go toe to toe with my King over someone I barely know in the effort to keep giving them chances and giving them chances. This is where balance comes in!

In this situation, balance for me looks like not engaging with this person but internally setting a limit for what I’m going to tolerate before I lash back, in a professional manner, and stop the harassment. Balance is not allowing the hate and loneliness of a grown adult make me forget that I’m tending to a sick dog, building a home from scratch, living without running water and putting every ounce of love I have into the mission that is specific to my life journey. This ONE person isn’t greater than all that. And I don’t say that in a “I don’t care about others” type of way, I say that in a “I love myself too much to not ruin my karmic journey over YOU” type of way. No one person is greater than your soul mission, especially when your mission is crystal clear to you!

Just a little real life, real time reminder for those of you out there that might have someone so out of balance, sad, lonely and hateful that they would try to slander you over something so small. Find your balance. Determine where they fall and act accordingly!

Authenticity at its Finest

Being authentic is something that doesn’t come easily, especially in the society we live in. The society that bombards us with psychological programming everywhere we turn; what’s considered beautiful, what’s socially acceptable, what’s “real”. In this society being authentic looks like lots of things some of us experience; things like, blood relatives praising your journey in your face and then talking about you behind you’re back, people telling you you’re brave while they gossip and laugh at you the minute you leave and it can look like people questioning you’re every motive, plan and thought out of their own personal fears and shortcomings.

Authenticity, to me, is being able to have a vision and set a plan, while also being comfortable knowing and saying “I don’t have all the answers.” Only a fool would claim to know everything about everything and I learned young that I didn’t want to be or look like a fool to anyone, especially not myself. Authenticity, in my eyes, is also being able to plow through all the negative talk, disrespectful relatives, hateful & unhappy people and still hold the vision. Sometimes holding onto the vision you have and what’s in your heart can be the loneliest stance you take because everyone isn’t on your frequency and that’s ok, that’s how the world maintains its balance. That space is also where we develop personal strength to endure the journey that was meant uniquely for us and no one else.

I have loads and loads of respect for people who aren’t afraid to tell me the truth, who don’t omit information when they’re talking to me, who have the nerve to come to me and tell me something I did or said rubbed them the wrong way because that’s the only way for me to grow and learn from that connection or interaction. So many times relationships fail or fall apart because people are too afraid to be authentic with themselves. So how can we really expect people to be authentic with us when they’re being fake with themselves? That’s unrealistic!! It’s also unrealistic to live your life not being authentic then expect and demand people be authentic with you… We get what we give from this life.

Recently my most authentic moment was realizing that I put someone I love in the position to be hurt by the same people that have hurt him over and over again since he was a child, due to my own narrow beliefs. Like many of us, I was raised to put “family first” and nothing came above family. So when I met my husband in 2010 and he told me he didn’t associate with his family anymore because of some negative situations that constantly put him in bad positions my ignorance of his experiences caused me to push and push and push. I’ve pushed for 7 years for him to keep trying, keep reaching out, keep spending time with them. People are human, I get that. But after our families both told us we would fail in Colorado and we didn’t, I thought that the next big move we made would be met with a more positive energy.

This is where I’d love to bring in being honest with yourself about who people show themselves to be. People really can’t help but be who they are. So when you see someone valuing things you don’t value, that’s a huge clue that they’re not on your frequency or vibration.

Trust what people show you over what they tell you!

After our move from Colorado to New Mexico was almost complete we decided to tell our families that we sold our house and took the money to buy the property we’ve been wanting since we left California. My husband’s family told us so many positive things and how great of a job we were doing. Next thing I know we’re getting calls from other family members telling us not to be discouraged, don’t listen to what people say, and, the famous, “so and so said you’re stupid for making that move.” Why did I expect anything different? How can people change while sitting there telling you they want the same things they wanted when they were in high school? That was dumb on my part to see no efforts in self work, loving themselves and their son more than they showed us before. And the end of it all, the person that hurt was the person I’ve loved through lifetimes.

The moral of the story is, believe people when you catch them not being authentic and be authentic enough to call a spade a spade when you see it.

-IxChel-

 

The Blossoming of Zion Affinity

We’ve fallen in love with everything about our lives since we moved from California to Colorado in 2013. In 2013, shortly after we got married, we decided to migrate to Colorado, a place where we had no family, friends or connections. Colorado is where we found out first home together, we founded Zion Glory Herbal Healing LLP after closing Beauty for Pleasure, we discovered and dove into the beliefs & history of RasTafari and started traveling. Since we met in 2010 we’ve been on a deep journey of self discovery. When we met, we both knew we weren’t just “Black” or just “Mexican” and the idea of everyone being mixed with different backgrounds and genealogy resonated with us both very deeply. Los Angeles didn’t feel like the best place to be for us, seeing so much division among all different ethnicities and cultures, even the division within our own families made it hard for us to discover ourselves. So we made the shift to Colorado to start our new life together fresh. We found ourselves reasoning with a diverse array of people in Colorado and our life mission and soul purpose became evident… Bridging the gap between divided people.

Zion Affinity grew out of our search and overstanding of genetics and ancestry, our desire to assist people love those around them regardless of background or beliefs, and the recognition that so much of what is wrong with our society is the division. That was something Daniel and I have had in common since the day we met. We had both grown tired of people labeling us as “Black” or “Mexican” when we knew there was so much more to us than those labels, so much lost history, so much division and a lack of understanding of ourselves. Since we met in 2010 we’ve been doing our best to live out what’s in our hearts on this Earth.

Although there are tons of things we love about Colorado, we had to heed the call we were receiving and the redirection back to the focus that led us out to Colorado in the first place. Besides gaining a deeper overstanding of ourselves we left California in search of a huge, remote property that we could grow our own food at and live closer to the land, away from the city life we’ve known all our lives. Along our journey together we’ve learned that sometimes there are stops along the route you don’t expect or plan for but the soil is fertile and necessary for our growth. That’s exactly what we needed to realize, that our vision was directly in line with our higher purpose but we hadn’t dreamed large enough just yet.

Over the last 2 years we’ve planned for a piece of property only our souls could see and in June 2017 we found it! A year ago we were looking at a map identifying protective geographical lines around the world and we traced one directly through this land. We both said “Wouldn’t this be perfect if we could find like like right there?!” In May we sold our first home and went looking in New Mexico because we’d been receiving messages that we needed to be there. We went looking for a 20 acre plot that the agent wasn’t able to find, walked away with 65 acres!!!

 

The most common first question we get asked when people hear about our land is “What are you going to do with all that land!?” Build it up of course! There’s no structures on it, the land is 100% raw! Our vision is a community of unity where people of all backgrounds, ancestry and belief systems can live together and support each other in our individual and collective healing; while simultaneously planting herbs, food and plants that will help to revive and give back to Mother Earth!

Zion Affinity!

We’ve been familiarizing ourselves with the land, laying out the plans and setting the foundations for all the growth, and do we have some stories to tell!! We’re looking forward to sharing them with everyone who attends our first upcoming event at the property and slowly over our upcoming YouTube videos! For those of you that are interested in living on the land with us in New Mexico we’ll begin accepting applications in August! Send us an email at zionunitytribe@gmail.com and we’ll be sure to send you information regarding the process and the application when it becomes available!

We’ve also set up a GoFund.me for anyone interested in donating to our soul mission. All funds will be used to set up the community land, camp grounds, crops and much more we’ll be offering! Anything, even sharing this blog or campaign helps more than you know!

*IxChel*

 

 

Mountain Life

I’m loving so much of this new journey but one of the things I’m loving the most is seeing people’s faces when we tell them I’ve never been camping. I LOVE that my first time camping was on 65 acres that we own! I’ve had so many first’s since we’ve been living on the mountain I can’t event begin to remember..

What I can remember is this:

  • The first day on the property a huge locust flew at my cheek and I screamed lol
  • It was fun driving our car over rocks and fallen branches
  • We’ve heard a pack of coyotes around the camp but they’ve never messed with us
  • A dragonfly landed on our door after we put up the tent and wouldn’t move
  • Outdoor showers are where it’s at
  • The full moon was GORGEOUS

I’ve never been able to see anything so clearly!

 

*IxChel*

Sizzling Heat Wave Summer Solstice

I’m sure by now you’ve all felt the sizzling heat wave if you live anywhere in California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah and Colorado. We’re not sure how far this has spread or if Sunday will be the end of this torture, only time will tell. What we are sure about is energy, spirit and paying attention to the signs along this journey we’ve been on for 7 years.

We’ve tried to plan our moves down to the ‘T’, thinking of every possible thing ahead of us and ensuring that we’ve thought of resolutions to anything that might come up. And over the past 7 years we’ve realized that everything we plan isn’t going to happen exactly the way we want it to. We’ve both realized that there are times when we need to have patience, times when we’ve had plans to be somewhere that fell through and other amazing things have happened for us in those spaces. We had plans to be somewhere today and the heat wave had other plans.

There are situations in life that we try to fight through and push to happen, we’ve realized that a more collaborative way to flow with Mother Earth and Spirit is to slow down, have patience and listen. So when it reached 115 degrees in Utah and our car started to struggle with the air conditioning we heeded the sign and shifted like we needed to honor the fire the Sun is bringing today. Not only is it the first official day of summer but it’s also the Summer Solstice and the longest day of the year. And the energy of the day is definitely slow down, cool down and CHILL!! So we’re planning on listening.

Stay hydrated, stay cool!

*IxChel*

IXCHEL

Land of Goddesses

IXCHEL

Ixchel or Ix Chel (pronounced as [iʃˈtʃel]) is the Maya goddess mostly connected with medicine, fertility and pregnancy and therefore she is considered to be the guardian of doctors, midwives, healers and shamans. She is associated with the moon (particularly its waning phase), earth, water especially in the form of rain, weaving, divination and war. Her name probably comes from the stem ‘chel’ meaning rainbow, it was written with a pictogram signifying ‘red’ and that is why she is called  Lady of the Rainbow.

ABOUT GODDESS

Not many myths about her remained until recent times. According to one of the legends she was married to Itzamna and had thirteen sons with him, two of them were the creators of heaven and earth. In another version she is the wife of earth god Voltan. There is also the legend which claims that she created the world together with Feathered…

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