Tag Archives: family

Friends & Lessons

I really feel like the term “friend” is used entirely too loosely. Throughout my journey I’ve gone through so many different phases of “friends”. There was a phase when I wanted anyone to be my friend, I wanted more popular friends, I wanted friends that partied. Then I wanted friends that had connections & knew certain people in the beauty industry. Looking back at the person I’ve been growing to be and who I truly consider friends now, I can see how far I’ve come on my journey.

I was extremely insecure as a child & through my adolescent years. I had people I hung out with in grade school but they didn’t fit into societies definition of what beautiful & intriguing were. So the first sign of someone from the “popular group” talking to me I instantly ditched the people who had spent time with me & loved me for who I was. Fast forward 23 years and I only speak to ONE person from that “popular group”. No one that I tried to build a relationship with from that “popular group” made an effort to be in my life or see me all through high school. Even now, I see pictures of them all hanging out and watching eachother’s children grow up, no one makes an attempt to reach out to me or talk to me.

Over the last 5 years I’ve had my own spiritual awakening & shot out of the ground I buried myself in for the last 20+ years. I stopped pouring my energy into people that didn’t make any effort to hold a connection with me. I’ve come to learn that friendships are just like plants. They need to be cared for in the same way a plant does! Stop watering a plant and it dies. Stop giving it sun and it dies. Friendship is a 2 way street just like any other relationship! I’ve learned to stop watering plants alone.

My definition of the friendships I now want in my life are so deep that a limited number of people meet the criteria. I know this can start to sound like I’m full of ego but what I know about myself is that I love deeply, that’s part of the Scorpio in me. I can love so deeply that I’ll carry the burdens of those I love, look for a solution and support most people through almost anything with everything I have access to. I’ve come to learn that when you can love with a capacity like that, you HAVE to be selective with the energy you give to people. Giving that much energy and love to people who have no problem taking and taking will drain me and my love too quickly.

Moral of the story, pay attention to the definition of friendship you live your life by & adjust accordingly.

-IxChel-

 

Advertisements

Authenticity at its Finest

Being authentic is something that doesn’t come easily, especially in the society we live in. The society that bombards us with psychological programming everywhere we turn; what’s considered beautiful, what’s socially acceptable, what’s “real”. In this society being authentic looks like lots of things some of us experience; things like, blood relatives praising your journey in your face and then talking about you behind you’re back, people telling you you’re brave while they gossip and laugh at you the minute you leave and it can look like people questioning you’re every motive, plan and thought out of their own personal fears and shortcomings.

Authenticity, to me, is being able to have a vision and set a plan, while also being comfortable knowing and saying “I don’t have all the answers.” Only a fool would claim to know everything about everything and I learned young that I didn’t want to be or look like a fool to anyone, especially not myself. Authenticity, in my eyes, is also being able to plow through all the negative talk, disrespectful relatives, hateful & unhappy people and still hold the vision. Sometimes holding onto the vision you have and what’s in your heart can be the loneliest stance you take because everyone isn’t on your frequency and that’s ok, that’s how the world maintains its balance. That space is also where we develop personal strength to endure the journey that was meant uniquely for us and no one else.

I have loads and loads of respect for people who aren’t afraid to tell me the truth, who don’t omit information when they’re talking to me, who have the nerve to come to me and tell me something I did or said rubbed them the wrong way because that’s the only way for me to grow and learn from that connection or interaction. So many times relationships fail or fall apart because people are too afraid to be authentic with themselves. So how can we really expect people to be authentic with us when they’re being fake with themselves? That’s unrealistic!! It’s also unrealistic to live your life not being authentic then expect and demand people be authentic with you… We get what we give from this life.

Recently my most authentic moment was realizing that I put someone I love in the position to be hurt by the same people that have hurt him over and over again since he was a child, due to my own narrow beliefs. Like many of us, I was raised to put “family first” and nothing came above family. So when I met my husband in 2010 and he told me he didn’t associate with his family anymore because of some negative situations that constantly put him in bad positions my ignorance of his experiences caused me to push and push and push. I’ve pushed for 7 years for him to keep trying, keep reaching out, keep spending time with them. People are human, I get that. But after our families both told us we would fail in Colorado and we didn’t, I thought that the next big move we made would be met with a more positive energy.

This is where I’d love to bring in being honest with yourself about who people show themselves to be. People really can’t help but be who they are. So when you see someone valuing things you don’t value, that’s a huge clue that they’re not on your frequency or vibration.

Trust what people show you over what they tell you!

After our move from Colorado to New Mexico was almost complete we decided to tell our families that we sold our house and took the money to buy the property we’ve been wanting since we left California. My husband’s family told us so many positive things and how great of a job we were doing. Next thing I know we’re getting calls from other family members telling us not to be discouraged, don’t listen to what people say, and, the famous, “so and so said you’re stupid for making that move.” Why did I expect anything different? How can people change while sitting there telling you they want the same things they wanted when they were in high school? That was dumb on my part to see no efforts in self work, loving themselves and their son more than they showed us before. And the end of it all, the person that hurt was the person I’ve loved through lifetimes.

The moral of the story is, believe people when you catch them not being authentic and be authentic enough to call a spade a spade when you see it.

-IxChel-

 

Divine Timing in Chaos, Flowing

Since Daniel and I met in 2010 we’ve come face to face with some pretty heavy shifts, changes, obstacles and lessons. We learned soon in our journey that we felt like we were pushing and pushing and pushing for things to happen and nothing would flourish. When we first felt the energy we were in California and we shifted completely out of the state, to a state where we had no friends or family. I fought it at first, I won’t lie. Then Spirit started hitting me with obvious signs. Colorado license plates everywhere, Colorado on the radio, Colorado on TV, Colorado in the movies we watched… It was crazy!

Fast forward to 2016. We started noticing the same energy. People and businesses we tried to collaborate with wouldn’t support us, wouldn’t share posts, buy products or be a beneficial partner in events and collaboration efforts. One day it all hit me. I stepped back out of frustration and got still and silent. I asked myself, “When was the last time you experienced something like this?” The answer was loud and clear, CALI. That was the exact moment I accepted the call to this 3rd life shift.

Most people don’t take the time to know that we chose Colorado for several reasons, not just marijuana legalization. We’ve always wanted a family, we knew we needed to heal, we knew we needed healthy space from our families and we knew we both loved nature. The day that marijuana was recreationally legalized came about a year after we had privately made the decision to migrate to Colorado and about a month after we announced it to our parents. When we read the news that recreational passed, we were already in Colorado headed to Estes Park to scope out areas of the state we were most drawn to.

Like many shifts in life we planned our little hearts out and most of it fell through. We counted on money from different places coming in at certain times, that fell through. I planned on getting a job as soon as we got here, that fell through. We planned on getting land in the mountains, that fell through. And there are times in life when you think

“Shit! I’m so sick and tired of everything I’m planning falling through!”

We’ve been there before too. The beautiful part about plans that fall through and feeling like our world is crashing down on us is the aftermath.

It’s hardly felt like divine timing when our plans have fallen through until this year. 2017 has had a ton of major lessons and epiphany’s for us and it’s only April! But the one thing we can say is that all the failed attempts opened the way for new energy, new messages and clarification of our soul purpose to come through! We’ve got some major shifts in the works for Zion Glory as a business, family and community that we’re bursting at the seems to tell you about!

Check out our most recent live video webinar, The Shift and Flow, to get some of the bread crumbs we’re dropping about our upcoming shifts and how we’ve learned to flow with plans falling through to allow our soul purpose to take foundation!

Sister Standing

How can you stand there,

Act like you know what I’m about?

Judging my life,

While turning your snout.

 

We’ve shared homes, tables, food and friends.

I’ve tried to connect with you over and over again.

Only to get no reply, brushed off again.

Sister, I truly don’t understand.

 

You’ve always fought against me,

While standing directly adjacent.

But then I put myself out there,

And your gun I’m facin’.

 

I stand in that space,

Too prideful to cry but my heart is breaking.

Seeing it’s my sister,

Finger on the trigger and shaking.

 

You can squeeze or walk away…

But I’ll always stay.

Righteous Separation

When my husband and I moved from California to Colorado, it was as if we didn’t exists to any of our family members. Over the past 2 years we’ve heard our family’s opinions through my parents telling me what other “family members” were saying. Now it’s to the point where no one wants their kids around us… Funny because I don’t agree with my 7 year old cousin knowing where my aunt’s boyfriend buys his alcohol, and that “mommy and uncle drink on (blank) days of the week” and “this is where mommy and uncle like their alcohol to be in the fridge”. Let’s not get started with all the things that my different family members do that I don’t agree with. But my husband and I partake in a herb, a PLANT that is clearly outlined in the Bible as being food, sustenance and a holy sacrament and we’re “bad people” “hippies” “rasta” “unethical”. IT PISSES ME OFF!

And when the anger subsides all that’s left is pure pain. The people who claimed all my life they loved me lied. What they should have said was “Tina we love you as long as you remain Catholic (the religion that the Spaniards came and forced onto your raped ancestors), don’t smoke weed, drink alcohol, and fall in line with the rest of society.” How can any person with even a smidgen of common sense or a brain cell not see how that would hurt? To take it even further, how can people think that not speaking to the first born niece & grand daughter wouldn’t hurt me?

The most comedic part about it all is that NO ONE in my family has been around me NOT “high” since I turned 18! I’m now 28 years old and I’ve taken care of my baby cousins, reasoned with my aunts, uncles and grandparents, completed personal and family responsibilities… All while “HIGH”, so how bad or negative of a person can I be?! I stuck around and by my family in California even though I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS felt like the odd ball, the black sheep, and the one that just didn’t fit. I almost didn’t leave the state SPECIFICALLY FOR my family.

I bet they don’t all remember when one of my aunts moved to a house about 45 minutes from the radius most of my family lived in. I think I remember being 7-10 years old at the time. I witnessed first hand certain aunts and even my more immediate household bashing my aunt. “Well of she doesn’t want to be around us then we won’t go to any events at the house!” Or “She’s the one that moved all the way out there and now she wants the whole family to go out and visit?!” It was comments like these that brainwashed me. Because for a while I was 100% on board with all their opinions. Until the day my husband suggested “What if we move to another state?” and reality hit me, i was now going to be in that aunt’s place. I’m now the person that has been cast aside as a “bad seed” or “the one that doesn’t want to be around the family.” And I wonder, if any one of these “family members” have taken 1 second to remember the reasons why we left. Reasons like… Excessive police harassment, excessive discrimination, excessive bullshit tickets, excessive wait times at the DMV, excessive money and time spent on trying to handle bullshit tickets, cost of living, air pollution, infertility, stress, low paying jobs with high stress, just to name a few.

I wonder if anyone even listened? Did anyone bother to retain it? Does it even really matter? Or did we say we were moving and get crossed off everyone’s list automatically?

Something that is of the utmost importance to me is this Vow of Separation. It is a change that I made that wasn’t taken lightly. The Vow of the Nazarites, based on Numbers 6 states ” 6 Then the Lord said to Moses, 2 “Give the following instructions to the people of Israel. “If any of the people, either men or women, take the special vow of a Nazirite, setting themselves apart to the Lord in a special way, 3 they must give up wine and other alcoholic drinks. They must not use vinegar made from wine or from other alcoholic drinks, they must not drink fresh grape juice, and they must not eat grapes or raisins. 4 As long as they are bound by their Nazirite vow, they are not allowed to eat or drink anything that comes from a grapevine—not even the grape seeds or skins.
5 “They must never cut their hair throughout the time of their vow, for they are holy and set apart to the Lord. Until the time of their vow has been fulfilled, they must let their hair grow long. 6 And they must not go near a dead body during the entire period of their vow to the Lord. 7 Even if the dead person is their own father, mother, brother, or sister, they must not defile themselves, for the hair on their head is the symbol of their separation to God. 8 This requirement applies as long as they are set apart to the Lord.
9 “If someone falls dead beside them, the hair they have dedicated will be defiled. They must wait for seven days and then shave their heads. Then they will be cleansed from their defilement. 10 On the eighth day they must bring two turtledoves or two young pigeons to the priest at the entrance of the Tabernacle.[a] 11 The priest will offer one of the birds for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. In this way, he will purify them[b] from the guilt they incurred through contact with the dead body. Then they must reaffirm their commitment and let their hair begin to grow again. 12 The days of their vow that were completed before their defilement no longer count. They must rededicate themselves to the Lord as a Nazirite for the full term of their vow, and each must bring a one-year-old male lamb for a guilt offering.”

They may seem like just dreadlocks, and it may seem like we just want to smoke but only to uneducated people who refuse to be open-minded and listen to parts of the Bible that churches skim right past, don’t explain or don’t teach! It wasn’t easy to take that vow, it wasn’t easy to vow not to attend any funerals when I haven’t last any of my immediate family. It wasn’t easy to give up drinking alcohol, or eating beef, or stop eating grapes or raisins. And it dam sure wasn’t easy to loc up my hair and watch everyone treat me as less than a person, or assume that I don’t wash my hair.

None of this is easy but InI wasn’t call to a life of ease and cupcakes. Jah has a righteous plan for InI time on this Earth and InI won’t let the negative of people, INCLUDING FAMILY, to deter InI from I mission!

JAH!!!!!!!!! RAS TAFARI!!!!!!!! ❤️💛💚

Constant Appreciation

Life in general is hard when you look back at everywhere you’ve been, who you’ve lost, mistakes you’ve made, and possibly secrets you still hold. But when you’re in a place of security, safety and pure love we are not bound by the past. We’re free to accept the past for what it was and who it made up and move forward with the lessons the past has provided. There is a sense of freedom when I look back on all the things that could have took me down another path, had I had chosen another option.

Just yesterday I was standing in the store picking out some snacks and I felt this wave of fluttering nervousness rise up in my stomach. When I looked to my left, my king was walking down the aisle toward me. It made me think of the first time I met him. Meeting this random guy from the internet who told me he just wanted to hook up. And no matter how much I told my friends or myself that he wasn’t anything to me, he was everything without even knowing. To the point where my spirit can feel him hitting a corner before my eyes even saw him. It was touching. Even not typing out what happened and what I felt brings tears of joy to my eyes and makes the love in my heart beat harder with every muscle contraction.

The other night I had another dream about my son, my soon-to-be son. The first time I met him was a few weeks ago following the night I dreamt of our soon-to-be daughter as a teen. I knew it was our son not only because his smile, eyes and looks were a perfect blend of my king and I but I could feel his spirit, his happiness and his joy when he saw me. I’ve never felt that before. I felt like he is a part of me and I can feel everything he feels. Sometimes it’s scary to talk about or profess things that you have no way of knowing but that’s only when we let society and our past determine how we feel. I felt that was my son greeting me before he makes his grand entrance. I feel that although I interpreted the order of I dreams to tell me the order of I children, my son came to me and told me that he would be first. Although I’m scared to say this because I’m scared to be wrong… I feel like my son was speaking to me from the womb. Although I haven’t confirmed if I’m pregnant or not… My spirits tell me InI am.

Waiting patiently.

Migration Isn’t Over

When I King mentioned wanting to migrate out of California 2 years ago these butterflies raised up in my stomach and I questioned everything. Now we have a home, I have a good job and we have our company picking up momentum (Zion Glory) and again the conversation about migrating out of the company sooner than the 5 years we planned on when we landed in Colorado. At first I wasn’t too sure about leaving the United States to live in a country I’ve never visited before and know very little about. But the more we talk about it, learn about it, and meet people via the internet that have made the migration the more my heart rejoices in Zion.

I feel like I’m fighting everything in me not to put our new house up for sale and leave this country to burn without InI in it. But another part of my heart tells me “It’s not yet your time” and then something positive happens with the business and I can feel that our mission is about to blow up! We’re getting great feedback from the people who signed up to receive exclusive samples of upcoming products and we’re developing newer and improved versions of our products everyday. Now I feel this burning desire for Ethiopia and I know that now is the time to advertise this Sheshemane Settlement movement using our business.

If anyone is interested in learning more about our company and what we have going on and coming up in our plans and community involvement sign up for our monthly newsletter, Rootz Report! Send an email to ZionGlory.CO@gmail.com and let us know you want to receive the newsletter!

Blessings, Love & Light. Ras Tafari!

Keeping Focused, Stay Solid

There has come a time in each of my work positions when I knew that this was not the place I was going to be for long. And when I left California I thought that would end. But Jah has reminded me again that He isn’t done moving me for his plans. It’s the hardest thing in the world to just walk without knowing exactly where you are going to be but that is a Babylonian frame of mind. Our spirits know that they will never die so they roam the earth in our bodies living life as we choose but how often do we stop and ask our spirits if what we are doing is what they want, what they envision for us, mentally and spiritually?

Since I got this job I stopped meditating in the mornings and today that stops. I can feel I aura is not centered and balanced because everything stresses me out and I worry entirely too much. Today is the beginning of a new day.

Higher Consciousness

We’ve officially passed the one year mark of our 1st year in Colorado and our 2nd year of marriage! The things we’ve accomplished since we migrated east are truly astounding. After some speed bumps with racist employers and money I have to say that I honestly wasn’t a believer when my husband told me that we would purchase our first home before the 1 year mark. That year mark was March 1st. High and behold, I King was right! We purchased a ranch home, 4 bedrooms 2 bathrooms, an attached garage and over 8,000 square feet! We’ve been here over a month now and I’m still in awe when I sit back and breathe for a second.

Besides being blessed with a house I’ve been blessed with an abundance of eternal life through the wisdom I’ve attained, an amazing husband, a family, and everything I do and don’t have. To be in a place where you can appreciate everything that happens (even if the “appreciation” is somewhat delayed) is completely peaceful. There’s still been times of stress, sadness, anger, frustration but getting to that next step of moving past the negative and making a positive gets easier with each struggle.

Sometimes I eyes tear up over different things and a few minutes later I realize there is a smile on I face at the thought of the volumes of faith to which I life speaks. Other times I’m flooded with period of spoken word until I feel I’m trying to force something to happen. At that moment I remember it’s better to speak less and listen more because too many people talk about what they do not overstand. Then I have times of confining my feelings through periods of speechlessness and I realize balance is the key. And to maintain balance you have to practice. That is what this life is to me now, practice for bigger, more important things to come.

Through this first year of having I crown locc’d and walking I life in the Vow of the Nazarite way, life has become so much clearer, so much easier to deal with, so much easier to enjoy when you know and overstand the things through this life that matter. When your mind is open, completely open, you can be more knowledgeable than any person with tons of years of education. When you can learn to access the abilities that were given to you when your body and spirit were bound as one for this short period in time, you unlock true connection to the Most High King of Kings, Creator of all Things!

One of the last things I expected was getting our business off the ground this early in the year. We’re both excited for all that is to come and to experience where this is all going to take us.

Personally, the best part of the last 4 years is my King. He’s been a great man, friend, and twin flame, I never imagined I could connect with someone this way. I love how much we learn together, sharpen each other, even finish each others sentences and say the exact same thing at the same times! I already cherish the day we plant our first seed in this world, our children have no idea how much InI love them.

I know this post is all over but it’s just how I’m thinking now… Raw, real, right now.

Heat & Growth

A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Yesterday I sat back in our reclining, massaging, theater seating and thought to myself “I still can’t believe this is all ours.” From the way everyone treated me for my mistakes growing up I sometimes expected to never have anything of value. After leaving California and the heavy shadow my family casts over InI, InI have realized that things of value can not be seen, held, or sold. Things of real value can only be felt. But even though InI know this InI am imperfect and sometimes I still measure my success with monetary things. And when that thought came across my mind yesterday I couldn’t help but think “This is why no one is happy for me! I’m mentally and spiritually awake AND I have the monetary possessions that my family uses to measure success!!”

Nothing ever prepares me the sting of sadness that follows when weeks go by and I don’t hear from anyone in my family; or updates are sent out and my own sister doesn’t even congratulate me on being a new home owner. Although I overstand why these people are not in my direct life anymore it still hurts. This morning I woke up with a heavy sadness on my heart. I’ve been trying to shake it all day and I can’t. I can’t stop the random tears, I can’t even stop thinking about feeling sad. How sad is that?
It’s so easy to get upset when people treat you differently. Especially when you give your righteous heart and soul to everything you do.

After experiencing this treatment while I worked for LA County for 8 years and here in my current position I’ve come to realize that people treat me like this when they are threatened. Although it may not be the best treatment, overstanding the reason behind people’s actions brings me a small amount of comfort. What really helps me to trod on is my husband, my king, my twin flame. He always consoles me by using the exact same things I tell other people for comfort and advice. I’m so grateful to the King of Kings for letting me re-connect with my twin flame so that we can conquer this world of evil, Babylon. With my King InI can conquer everything! JAH RASTAFARI!!!!