About a month after we purchased our land in New Mexico, my parents gifted us with a 40 ft. shipping container to use for storage. We’d been paying for a storage unit in Colorado and were feeling very disconnected and not fully able to run our business with most of our things still in Colorado. So we planned a last trip to Colorado to collect all our things from storage in August. We had just purchased a new heavy duty trailer, strong enough for us to haul water while we wait for our well to get dug, and were doing the last of the unpacking of some small items we left floating around in it. Then it started to rain.
I was in my cool clothes, tank top, cool pants, etc., even though it was technically monsoon season out here. And I was wearing my Vibrams (toe shoes). We had let down the back of the trailer and had been using it as a ramp to walk up and down before it started sprinkling.
I’m still a city girl, born and bred, and I’m still undergoing my unlearning and relearning of my Earthly powers. Although I’m a Scorpio through and through, a deep water sign, I tend to not want to get wet when I’m wearing clothes. I despise the way wet clothes feel on my body, I feel confined and sticky. Plus we’d been living out of a tent for a month and I was 100% out of my comfort zone so I started to notice that I would lean toward small comforts when I could get them. Air conditioning, running water… Being dry haha!
On the flip side of that same coin, I’ve got family members and (technically) acquaintances, we sometimes call friends, asking “How is Tina doing? Are y’all staying in a hotel?” and I’m not going to lie, I was a little offended at how fragile and rigid people thought I was. It fueled me. When the rain started coming down I thought to myself “Alright! Time to get this done so we can get in the car, LET’S GO!” I kept up my pace picking things off the floor of the trailer, one of the items was a rachet tie. When I turned around and felt my right foot slip out from under me I knew it was going to be bad so I guess I tried to brace myself. I felt myself hit the ramp of the trailer and I was in so much pain I couldn’t even cry.
All the voice, power, conviction had left me. It made me think of the time I fell running up the stairs when I first started dating my King. Back in my Cali days I just laid there and wished I could disappear so I didn’t have to see his reaction to my fall lol This time I had nothing to let out the pain was so deep. When I finally caught my breath I rolled over onto my stomach and started to cry softly, little by little louder and louder the more I paid attention for my pain. Eventually I found this gash in my arm from my weight falling straight onto the metal rachet I was carrying and it was bleeding like crazy. I thought to myself,
“Well… You wanted to see how powerful this All Healing Rub is! Here it goes! Get to healing!”
I picked my ass up off that trailer ramp, everything that touched my skin down to my clothes was shooting pain all throughout my body but I didn’t want my King to baby me. I encouraged him to finish while I went to clean the cut and tend to it. I came back, still in pain, crying, cut bandaged up, All Healing Rub in hand and ready to get on the road to our last trip to Colorado. That moment and what followed after was liberating! I had already created something that was perfect to stop bleeding, clean open cuts and address the pain that I made several years before being here in this moment, cut, bleeding and in pain! Over the next few weeks I applied the rub liberally and I shared my story with people we met who asked me. I had bruises all the way up my arm, as you can see, so I was happy to see that the more I talked about it the more I laughed about it.
Through my healing process I’ve learned to take ownership of where I could have done better and this was a HUGE learning experience for me. I knew better. I knew that rain meant slippery but I wasn’t thinking about that before I stepped on the ramp and ate it, bad. LOL! Honestly, that’s common sense! I had no one to blame but myself and trust me, I tried to blame the rain!
Balance. Balance taught me that even if something hurt I can smile and laugh about it too. Balance taught me that yes I was thinking about completing the task but not thinking about safety while completing it. Balance taught me to stop fighting the falls and ROLL WITH IT! I’m convinced that if I would have made an effort to roll I wouldn’t have split my arm open. Balance taught me that sometimes peoples fragile ass opinions of you can make you stronger and give you fuel to push harder. Balance taught me that I’ll have plenty more practice perfecting this lesson and whether I’m physically or spiritually falling, tuck and roll is the best bet!!
Balance taught me STRENGTH in weakness!!
Since this lesson has been one of the main energies I’ve been learning about for the last 32 years I’ve decided to offer an amazing new course focused on Mastering the Energy of Divine Balance! Check it out HERE!
-IxChel-
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